Monday, May 9, 2005

New Words

English 101



NEW WORDS FOR 2005.



1. BLAMESTORMING:

Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a

project failed, and who was responsible.



2. SEAGULL MANAGER:

A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and

then leaves.



3 ASSMOSIS:

The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement

by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.



4. SALMON DAY:

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get

screwed and die in the end



5. CUBE FARM:

An office filled with cubicles.



6. PRAIRIE DOGGING:

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and

people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.



7. MOUSE POTATO:

The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.



8. SITCOMs:

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into

when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with

the kids.



9. STRESS PUPPY:

A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.



10. SWIPEOUT:

An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the

magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.



11. XEROX SUBSIDY:

Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.



12 IRRITAINMENT:

Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find

yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not)

was a prime example.



13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:

The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it

to work again.



14. ADMINISPHERE:

The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and

file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly

inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.



15 404:

Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not

Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. (For

those in Toronto, it's also Hwy 404... destination can not be located.)



16. CROP DUSTING:

Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.



17. OHNOSECOND:

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just

made a BIG mistake.



18. WOOFS:

Well-Off Older Folks

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